“Oh, look at Miss Know-It-All! Do you think you always have to have the last word?” my mother-in-law, Carmen, snapped, setting her fork down on her plate so abruptly that everyone around the table fell silent.
I slowly raised my eyes.
My husband, Javier, stopped cutting his meat. His sister, Lucía, froze with her wineglass just a few inches from her lips.
Andrés, Lucía’s husband, immediately lowered his eyes to his plate. Even Marta and Sergio, two friends we had invited to lunch, instantly understood that it was probably best not to say anything.
I looked at Carmen for a few seconds.
Then I answered calmly: “No, I don’t need to have the last word. I’m just waiting for you to finally run out of nonsense.”
The silence became almost unreal. Javier closed his eyes. Lucía’s mouth fell open.
Andrés discreetly coughed into his napkin.
Carmen stared at me as though I had just thrown my glass of wine in her face.
“Excuse me?” “You heard me perfectly.”
“Did you just call me stupid in front of everyone?”
“No. I said you say a lot of foolish things. That’s not exactly the same thing.” “Elena…” Javier muttered.
I turned my head toward him. “What?” He sighed. “Nothing.”
And he was right. Because this time, I had absolutely no intention of keeping quiet.
This lunch was supposed to be peaceful.
It was Sunday. Javier and I had invited Lucía, Andrés, Marta, and Sergio over for lunch. Carmen had not even been part of the original plan.
She had called us around eleven.
“What are you doing today?”
Javier made the mistake of answering:
“We’re having lunch at home with a few people.”
Twenty minutes later, Carmen announced:
“Fine. I’m coming too.”
She did not ask whether she could come.
She simply decided that she was coming.
By twelve thirty, she was standing at our front door with a chocolate cake in her hands.
At first, everything actually went quite well.
I had made herb-roasted chicken with potatoes, vegetables, and a large salad.
We opened a bottle of wine.
Everyone was chatting.
Then Carmen started.
First, she looked at the potatoes.
“They’re a little too brown, aren’t they?”
I said nothing.
A few minutes later, she tasted the salad.
“Do you always put this much oil in it?”
I kept eating.
Then she watched Javier help himself to a second serving.
“Be careful, son. You’ve put on a few pounds since you got married.”
Javier rolled his eyes.
“Mom…”
“What? I’m only saying it for his own good.”
I knew that phrase well.
Carmen always said everything “for our own good.”
She criticized our apartment for our own good.
She commented on our spending for our own good.
She explained to Javier how he should dress for his own good.
And, of course, she regularly explained to me how a good wife should behave — for the good of all of us.
I had learned to let those remarks go.
But that day, Carmen was especially inspired.
When Javier stood up to take a few plates into the kitchen, she watched him.
“Sit down, son. Elena can do that.”
I put down my fork.
“Why?”
Carmen looked at me as though the answer were obvious.
“Because you’re the woman of the house.”
“Javier lives here too.”
Marta immediately lowered her eyes.
She knew Carmen well enough to understand that we were entering dangerous territory.
“I know he lives here,” my mother-in-law replied. “But a man who works all week deserves to rest on Sunday.”
“I work all week too.”
“That’s not the same.”
I smiled.
“Why not?”
Carmen shrugged.
“Because it just isn’t.”
Javier came back from the kitchen.
“Mom, stop.”
“But I didn’t say anything!”
“Exactly,” he replied. “You’re only getting started.”
For a few minutes, Carmen stayed quiet.
Naively, I thought the incident was over.
Then Sergio asked whether we had finally booked our vacation.
“Yes,” I said. “We’re going to Portugal for ten days next month.”
Carmen immediately turned toward me.
“Ten days?”
I already knew what was coming.
“Yes.”
“And how much is that going to cost you?”
Javier sighed.
“Mom…”
“I’m just asking a question.”
“A rather intrusive one,” I said.
Carmen frowned.
“Why is it intrusive? Javier is my son.”
“And our bank account isn’t.”
Andrés struggled to hide a smile.
Bad idea.
Carmen noticed.
“Do you find that funny?”
“Not at all,” he answered immediately.
Lucía gave her husband a small kick under the table.
Carmen turned back to me.
“I honestly don’t understand why you take everything as an attack.”
“Because you turn almost everything into criticism.”
“Nonsense.”
“Since you arrived, you’ve criticized the potatoes, the salad, Javier’s weight, the fact that he clears the table, and now our vacation too.”
“I’m just giving my opinion.”
“Even when nobody asks for it.”
Her expression hardened.
“In a family, people should be able to speak freely.”
“Of course. But speaking freely doesn’t mean commenting on every single thing other people do.”
“You always overreact.”
I picked up my water glass.
“Fine.”
Carmen gave a sarcastic little laugh.
“There. See?”
I looked at her.
“See what?”
“That way you answer.”
“What way?”
“As though you’re always smarter than everyone else.”
Javier put his hand on the table.
“Mom, enough.”
But Carmen was already worked up.
“No, Javier. Someone needs to say it. Ever since she joined this family, everyone has to watch every word they say. Her Highness always has an answer for everything.”
I felt my anger rising.
Not suddenly.
Slowly.
It was that particular kind of anger that builds after you have swallowed a hundred small remarks and suddenly realize that you no longer want to tolerate the hundred-and-first.
“Do you know why I always have an answer?” I asked.
“Because you don’t know how to keep your mouth shut?”
Lucía murmured:
“Mom…”
Carmen raised one hand.
“What? It’s true!”
I leaned slightly forward.
“No. It’s because you constantly ask me questions about things that are none of your business.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes.”
“Like what?”
I began counting on my fingers.
“How much my handbag cost. Why we replaced the sofa. How much we paid for the television. Why Javier cooks. Why I don’t iron all his shirts. Why we sometimes order food. Why we go on vacation. How much I spend at the hairdresser…”
Marta discreetly raised her eyebrows.
Clearly, she had not known about half of that list.
“I’m just interested in your lives,” Carmen replied.
“No. You monitor us.”
“What nonsense!”
“You want to have an opinion about absolutely everything.”
“Because sometimes you two do ridiculous things!”
This time Javier straightened in his chair.
“Mom.”
But I raised my hand.
“No. Let her finish.”
Carmen gave me a triumphant look.
“See? There you go again. You even tell your husband what to do.”
I stayed silent for one second.
Then another.
Javier stared at his mother in disbelief.
“Seriously?”
“I’m talking to Elena.”
“No,” he replied. “You just talked about me.”
“Son, stay out of this.”
Javier gave a short laugh.
“This is unbelievable.”
Carmen ignored him and continued staring at me.
“You always need to answer back. Always. Even when someone older than you is simply trying to give you advice.”
“Advice nobody asked for sometimes sounds a lot like criticism.”
“See!”
Carmen suddenly put her fork down on her plate.
“Oh, look at Miss Know-It-All! Do you think you always have to have the last word?”
And that was when I answered:
“No. I’m just waiting for you to finally run out of nonsense.”
Nobody moved.
Then Carmen pushed her chair back slightly.
“This is unbelievable.”
“What is?”
“The disrespect.”
I looked her straight in the eyes.
“Respect doesn’t mean staying silent while someone constantly criticizes you in your own home.”
“I am your mother-in-law!”
“Yes. Not my boss.”
“Elena!” Lucía interrupted.
I turned toward her.
“What?”
“You could still speak to Mom differently.”
“And she could speak to me differently.”
Lucía fell silent.
Carmen immediately turned toward her son.
“Javier, are you really going to sit there and say nothing?”
He looked at her.
For a long moment.
Then he placed his napkin on the table.
“No.”
Carmen looked relieved.
“Finally.”
But Javier continued:
“I’m actually going to say something now.”
Her expression changed.
“I’m listening.”
“Elena is right.”
This time, even I was surprised.
Carmen stared at him with her mouth open.
“What?”
“You’ve been crossing boundaries for a long time.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you.”
He spoke calmly.
And that was exactly what made his words sound even stronger.
“Every time you come here, you find something to criticize. Our apartment. Our money. Elena. Me. Our vacations. The way we live.”
“I’m your mother.”
“And I’m your son, not your employee.”
Carmen went slightly pale.
“I never said that…”
“No. But you behave as though we’re supposed to justify every decision we make to you.”
Nobody dared interrupt.
Javier continued:
“And the worst part is that when Elena answers you, you call her rude. But when you attack her, you call it ‘giving your opinion.’”
Carmen looked at Lucía.
“Do you hear the way your brother is speaking to me?”
Lucía sighed.
“Mom…”
“What?”
“He’s not completely wrong.”
That was probably the most painful sentence Carmen heard during the entire lunch.
She stared at her daughter as though she had just betrayed her.
“You too?”
Lucía shrugged.
“Sometimes you really do go too far.”
Carmen fell silent.
For the first time since she arrived.
I took a sip of water.
Sergio suddenly became incredibly interested in the view through the window.
Marta played with her napkin.
And Andrés had apparently decided that his plate was now the only safe place to look.
Finally, Carmen stood up.
“Fine.”
She grabbed her handbag from the chair.
“If I bother everyone so much, I’ll leave.”
Javier did not move.
“Nobody said you bother us.”
“That’s exactly what all of you just said.”
“No,” I replied. “We’re only asking you to stop constantly judging us.”
She gave me a cold look.
“Of course you had to add one more thing.”
I almost answered.
Then I stopped myself.
Carmen smiled sarcastically.
“Ah! Finally, you’re quiet.”
I smiled too.
“I was just checking whether you were really finished.”
Andrés burst out laughing.
It was short and completely involuntary.
He immediately covered his mouth with his hand.
Lucía shot him a murderous look.
Even Javier had to turn his head to hide his smile.
For once, Carmen had nothing to say.
She took her coat and left the apartment.
The door closed behind her.
For five long seconds, nobody said a word.
Then Sergio slowly raised his glass.
“Well…”
He looked around the table.
“Does anyone want more wine?”
Everyone burst out laughing.
Even me.
But under the table, Javier placed his hand over mine.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I looked at him.
“For what?”
“For waiting so long to say all of that to her.”
I gently squeezed his hand.
That evening, Carmen did not call.
She did not call the next day either.
She stayed silent for four full days.
Then, on Thursday morning, Javier received a message.
He held his phone out to me.
Carmen had written:
“Are you coming for lunch on Sunday?”
Javier looked at me.
“What should I say?”
I thought for a few seconds.
“Tell her yes.”
He looked surprised.
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?”
“Absolutely.”
I picked up my coffee cup.
“But add one thing.”
“What?”
I smiled.
“Tell her we’re coming for lunch, not for an examination.”
Javier burst out laughing.
And this time, I did not even need to have the last word.